Human Nature
by Supreme.Empress.DragonGirl
Summary: A story in which random things happen involving everyone at the Enrichment Center. Also everyone is human for some reason.
1. Prelude: A Rude Awakening

**A/N: WHOA WHOA WHOA WHAT? A STORY? FROM ME?  
>Yeah. It's portal. Awesomesauce because Portal is the BEST. This here is the silly nonsense prelude to a silly nonsense story about all the people at the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. Chaos will ensue. Enjoy! <strong>

Prelude: A Rude Awakening

At six thirteen on Saturday morning, GLaDOS was awakened by a scream of terror.

She opened her eyes and looked around. There would be alarms going off or a countdown or something if the reactor core was going critical, so that wasn't it. And she imagined if the world was ending or the facility was going to explode for some _other_ reason, there would probably be more screaming. In fact, as far as she could tell, there was no kind of emergency whatsoever.

In which case, there was _no_ excuse for people to be waking her up at this time of morning with screams.

_Of course, it _was_ the moron's voice,_ she reminded herself, exasperated, and tuned into the feed from the security cameras. As far as she could tell, he hadn't gotten himself into anywhere dangerous; the incinerator, the redemption center, and the turret storeroom were all empty of idiotic, useless cores. Outside of the camera feed, she thought she could hear him shouting, but she couldn't make out whatever nonsense he might be spouting. If he wasn't in mortal danger, what was his problem?

Now that she thought about it, something did feel a little strange today. It almost reminded her of the time when she'd been in..._that thing_. As though her skin wasn't thick enough, or something...

It occurred to her that she should look at herself and see if something was different. Just as she raised her head, several things happened at once. First, the door burst open, and just as she moved she caught a glimpse of a human male in a white-gray suit vaguely reminiscent of the scientists who had once run this place. Second, she found that where her shell _ought_ to have been there was a black metal frame in which what seemed to be a human body was held tightly. Third, she realized that the human in the doorway was speaking in Wheatley's voice.

His words registered just as she figured out for herself the same thing he'd just told her. "Look at me!" he had shouted. "I'm a human! A bloody human! _Look!"_

She could see that he was a human, but she could have cared less at the moment, because a split second after realizing he was a human, she had noticed something vastly more alarming and terrible.

"No!" she shouted, her voice rising an octave. "This isn't possible! This can't be happening! No—no—no-o-o!" She stared in horror as the _human _(!) feet above her moved, and the truth sank in: _she_ was the one controlling them. "This is even worse than being a potato!" she shrieked. "I'm...a _human!"_


	2. 1: Coffee BREAK!

**A/N: HOLY WHOA RESPONSE WHAT? Man, the response to this story overnight was like the best I've ever gotten in the first day of a story! And for a ridiculously short nonsense setup chapter too! xDD So here's the first REAL chapter for all you guys. :D Most chapters will be more like this; interludes (mini chapters) will be more like the prelude. More about them next chapter when I post one xDD  
>For the record this doesn't really follow directly from last chapter. Oh, and their human versions are inspired by forte-girl7 on devaintART in case you didn't guess.<br>Anyways, enjoy! **

Chapter One: Coffee BREAK!

"Hey!"

GLaDOS opened one eye halfway, looking around her chamber for the source of the disturbance.

"Hey, lady!"

Slightly annoyed, she opened her eyes all the way and looked up. Or, rather, down, to where that moron was standing in the doorway, grinning like the idiot he was.

"Oh, it's _you,_" she said, now very irritated. "What do you want?"

"I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go get coffee," he called, still beaming.

"I-" she began, and realized what he'd just said. "_What?_"

"Well, everyone's going to get coffee," he explained. "Thought you might like to come."

She frowned, trying to think of something to say that would make him leave. "I have to catch up with the other AIs," she told him.

"But it's morning!" he protested, leaning forward and standing on his toes to look up at her better. "You need coffee in the morning!"

"No-o-o," she said, turning away from him.

"But you even _sound_ tired! You need _coffee!"_ he insisted. "Anyways, everyone else is going!"

"_I do not want coffee!" _she shouted. "Go away, moron!"

He scowled, folding his arms. "You're just grumpy 'cause you haven't had any coffee, he accused. As an afterthought, he added, "And I'm not a moron."

She growled in frustration, fairly certain that if she heard him say _coffee_ one more time, she was going to have to murder him. With a sigh, she flipped the harness upright. "Okay, fine. I'll do it," she told him. "I'll go and get a stupid cup of coffee, as long as you _shut up!"_

She stepped out and turned to see him looking absolutely delighted. "Excellent!" he exclaimed. "Come on, everyone's waiting for us!"

Reluctantly, she followed him into the lift which would take them to the lobby. It seemed like everyone really _was_ waiting for them; not only were all the cores there, but those two testing robots, a storage cube, and a companion cube as well. That, at least, was somewhat reassuring. If everyone else really was going, she could be fairly confident that it _hadn't_ been the moron's idea.

"Ooh, are you coming too?" asked Curiosity eagerly as GLaDOS stepped out of the elevator.

"Apparently, yes," GLaDOS replied coldly. She dreaded the thought of Curiosity having caffeine. The golden-eyed core was already hyperactive.

"Is that everyone?" Morality asked. She was standing on the table, scanning the room to make sure she knew exactly who was coming.

Anger growled in the back of his throat. "Why are we still waiting?" he muttered. "Let's _go."_

"Alright, we'll leave," Morality said. GLaDOS rolled her eyes. She _would_ put herself in charge, perfect little angel that she was.

"It's time for an adventure!" shouted Rick, putting on his hat and pushing dramatically through the door as he led the group to wherever they were going.

This, GLaDOS thought, was going to be interesting.

A bell jangled cheerfully above the door as they entered the coffee shop. It was crowded in the cafe, and the addition of their large group didn't do anything to help that.

GLaDOS was now in a very bad mood. She hadn't even eaten yet, and for some reason she'd allowed herself to be dragged miles away from her poor facility to a cafe with a bunch of people she didn't like, or even downright hated, depending on which in particular was in question. And the moron, who she detested to such a degree that he was on a list all of his own. Probably the one way in which he was special: she _especially_ loathed him.

"All in the name of science," she muttered under her breath as she sat down at an empty table. Morality sat on one side of her, keeping a firm grip on Anger's hand as he sat across the table. As luck would have it, the moron sat on her other side. Because that, of course, was _just_ what she needed.

"I'd like a cup of tea," he said to the waitress as she came over. "Black tea, whichever kind you've got, I don't mind really."

GLaDOS stared at the menu written on the wall behind the counter of pastries. The smell of coffee was overpowering, but to her surprise, she found it wasn't unpleasant. Perhaps this wouldn't be _so_ bad.

"I want a mocha," she announced. "With..._hmm_...caramel."

The waitress scribbled it down on her notepad and left to take other orders. A few minutes later, she was back, carrying a tray of steaming drinks. GLaDOS accepted the mug warily and breathed in the steam. As much as she was determined not to enjoy this, it did smell good.

_All in the name of science,_ she reminded herself, and took a sip. Her brain processed it as she watched the moron pour copious amounts of sugar and cream into his tea. She took another sip and felt a jolt of energy run up her spine and into her head.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa-a-a," she said, surprised. Her voice rose in pitch. "This is...this is _great_."

Everyone watched her in surprise and bewilderment as she drank another few mouthfuls of coffee and started to smile . Wheatley, sitting next to her, was actually a bit alarmed. That smile couldn't mean anything good.

"Maybe inviting her wasn't a good idea," he said quietly.

The eyes of every core turned suddenly to him. He looked around to see them all staring at him, most with expressions of fury and accusation.

"Ah, hello," he said nervously, stirring his tea with a spoon. "D'you want something?"

"This was _your_ idea?" asked Morality in a long-suffering tone.

It occurred to him that very few of his ideas _ever_ turned out well, and the others were probably very much aware of that. "Um," he said. "Yyyyes. But I didn't have the idea to have coffee though. Did I?"

With a snarl, Anger lunged. "Idiot!" he growled. "Stupid! _You_ invited-?"

He made to strangle Wheatley, but Morality grabbed his arm. "Anger, don't-" she began, and stopped as GLaDOS set down her now empty cup of coffee. Wheatley looked at GLaDOS as well. She was grinning like a lunatic, and her eyes were about three times their normal size.

"Are you, ah, alright?" Wheatley asked tentatively.

"Alright?" she echoed. "I feel fantastic! I could take over the world!" Her voice was so high-pitched she almost sounded like Curiosity, and she didn't seem to be pausing between words. "_Waitress!"_ she shouted. "More coffee!"

"Um," the waitress said, frozen. "What...kind?"

"Any kind!" GLaDOS replied, still with that manic smile. "In the name of science!"

"Maybe that isn't a good idea," Morality said cautiously.

"Science isn't about why," GLaDOS said. "It's about _why not!"_ The last two words were practically shouted.

The confused waitress brought out another cup of coffee. GLaDOS drank half of it and set the cup down. "What-is-this?" she demanded, pointing at it. Her eyes, if it were possible, had gotten even bigger.

"It's a latte," the waitress said, looking a little alarmed.

"A-latte?" GLaDOS echoed. "It's-really-really-really-really-gooooood-what's-in-these-things? I-mean-I-know-it's-coffee-but-what-makes-it-so-explosive?" She threw her hands in the air to indicate the explosiveness of the coffee. "It's-amazing-it's-like-FIVE-MILLION-VOLTS-OF-ELECTRICITY!Compared-to-this-normal-life-is-like-ONEPOINTSIXVOLTS!" She sucked in a huge breath, having been talking too fast to breathe during that exchange.

"Look what you've done now," Morality said, exasperated.

Wheatley glanced at her. "How is this my fault?"

"You invited her!"

He was saved from having to answer that question by GLaDOS jumping to her feet. "?" she asked. "WellmaybeIshould!Whatdoyouthink?Ohwaititdoesn'tmatterbecauseI'lldoitanyways!" She laughed. Coming from GLaDOS, that would have been frightening in the best of cases; while she was like _this,_ it was absolutely terrifying.

"Coffee decreases your life span by ten point six years, if you have it regularly," Fact announced. "Espresso increases your risk of cancer by twenty-three point six two percent."

"Espresso?" GLaDOS asked, her eyes almost glowing. "What'sthat? HeywaitressIwantanespresso!"

_"No,"_ Morality said, now becoming thoroughly alarmed. "Everyone, pay...ah, pay Intelligence. Intelligence, you need to pay for everyone's coffee. We're leaving. _Now."_

With a little hesitation, she handed Intelligence the money for her coffee and grabbed GLaDOS's arm. "Hey, wa-it," protested the AI. "I want more coffee!"

"Yes, because that sounds like a wonderful idea," Wheatley said nervously.

"Don't encourage her!" Morality cried.

"I'm not!" he protested. "It's like, ah, like reverse psychology, I think. Because, you know, all my ideas are terrible, so if I say something is a _good_ idea, that would...make it a _bad_ idea, right?"

Morality glared. "That may be the worst idea you've ever _had_. At any rate, it doesn't count if it wasn't your idea in the _first_ place."

While they were arguing, GLaDOS was chattering about taking over the world. That wouldn't have made a difference, except she was _convincing_ the other cores. "What-do-you-think-Rick?" she asked, turning back to look at him. "Wouldn't-that-be-an-adventure?"

"You're damn right it would," he replied, looking almost as excited as _she_ was about it.

"And once we take over the world, we can take over SPACE!" shouted Space.

GLaDOS looked ecstatic. "Ye-ea-ah!" she said. "We'll-take-over-space!"

"How are we gonna take over the world?" Curiosity asked, jumping up and down. "What are we gonna do with it? Can I go see it? There's so much!"

"Think-of-all-the-things-you-don't-know," GLaDOS told her. She turned to Anger, who was slouching along beside Morality. "Hey-what-about-you? Think-of-all-those-stupid-smelly-humans-don't-they-make-you-mad?"

"What are you _doing?"_ Morality shrieked, losing her normally calm composure. "You're insane!"

Wheatley was more concerned with Anger, who seemed to agree with GLaDOS. With a ferocious growl, the red core leaped at the nearest passerby, teeth bared and eyes blazing. "Morality!" Wheatley shouted. "Get Anger!"

She turned and released GLaDOS to grab Anger and drag him off of the poor shaking passerby. "Calm down—calm down—just stay calm-" she said frantically, putting one hand on the side of Anger's face. "What are we going to do? _I_ can't even calm down!"

That, of course, was the worst of it, wasn't it? If even Morality—quiet, serious Morality who never gave herself to emotion, who watched the world calmly with a slightly disapproving look, but nothing more—was panicking, then the situation must _really_ be out of control.

"We've got to stop her," Wheatley said, his mind racing. "There's got to be some way to calm her down. Only, it might be like trying to calm down Curiosity, or—or _Space_ for that matter—it could be nearly impossible, couldn't it? I suppose we can just wait for her to come off the caffeine rush, that would work. Ahh, no, but she might have enslaved half the world's population by then! What are we going to do?"

"Come on, we'd better keep up," Morality said grimly, jogging ahead to catch up to GLaDOS and the other cores. Anger was seething, but he couldn't seem to figure out what to be angry about; he was just glaring at the world in general and snarling in the back of his throat. Morality kept her fingers firmly around his wrist, making sure he stayed under control.

And suddenly, Wheatley had an idea.

"Morality!" he said. She glanced over her shoulder at him. "When you pulled GLaDOS out of the coffee shop—did you have her arm, or her hand?"

"Her arm," said Morality, bewildered. "Why?"

"Because she's got armor on her arms!" he said, leaning forward, convinced that _this_ idea would work. Probably. "Look, I dunno about calming her down, the way you can Anger, but what if you grabbed her hand, told her to stop and think about it? It didn't work when you grabbed her before, but the armor on her arm..."

Morality slowed to a walk just behind the other cores, with a thoughtful look on her face. "It might work," she said after a moment. "I don't think it _would_ calm her down, but it might keep her from trying to do anything...unpleasant."

"Worth a try?" he asked hopefully.

She hesitated, then nodded and released Anger to get closer to GLaDOS. "Do you _really_ think you ought to take over the world?" she asked seriously, placing her hand on the AI's upper arm, where the armor wasn't in the way.

GLaDOS considered this, and her eyes narrowed. "No-o-o," she decided, and turned to glare at Wheatley. "Was that _your_ idea? What a terrible plan. Why would I want to do that?"

Morality's shoulders slumped with relief and she fell back to keep Anger in line again. "Nice work," she said quietly. "That was some quick thinking."

"Well," he said, trying to sound modest while he was bursting with pride. "I do _occasionally _have good ideas. Sometimes. Once in a while."

When they returned to the facility, GLaDOS was still bursting with energy, to such a degree that the lights were actually _brighter_ than usual. "I-need-everyone-in-the-laboratories-right-away!" she said loudly, grinning at them all. "I-have-a-_lot_-of-ideas-for-new-test-elements-and-inventions-and-I'll-need-_everyone's-_help-making-and-testing-them-_let's-get-to-work!"_

Reluctantly, Wheatley followed the other cores down to the laboratories, when they were immediately put to work running errands for GLaDOS.

"Well," he sighed to himself as he "It could be worse. This should wear off soon, at any rate." He paused, considering that, and added, "I hope."


	3. Deja Blue

**A/N: Wow, another chapter already? XD Well, it is just an interlude. My rule about interludes is that they're short (most no longer than a page) and have no direct effect on the plot of the main story. 'Chapters,' in contrast, are much longer and can have plot-affecting things.  
>(Technically Chell being here affects the plot. She'll still be around in the future story, this particular incident is just not really relevant.)<strong>

Interlude: Deja Blue

She woke up to find herself in a familiar room. Everything was lit with a pale ambient light. The walls were paneled, the ceiling painted cream colored; the carpet matched the the bedspread and the curtains matched the sheets. It looked like a tacky motel room: pleasant enough, but completely generic.

It wouldn't be frightening, except she had the awful déjà vu feeling of having been there before. She knew this place. She knew this room. She'd relived the last time she'd awakened here in her dreams a hundred times.

But she couldn't be here. It wasn't possible. There was no way she could really be here in this room.

There was a knock on the door. She relaxed. A dream. It was only a dream again.

She heard a familiar voice calling her name. "Chell? Hello? You awake in there? There's supposed to be an alarm, but She's not sure it's working properly."

Wait. That wasn't what he was supposed to say. He'd never said anything _like_ that before. He didn't know her name, and he asked if she was _alive,_ not if she was _awake._

Both suspicious and curious, she went to the door and opened it to look outside.

She stared. A tall, thin, man with copper-colored hair was standing outside her door. His bright blue eyes watched her through a pair of wire-rimmed glasses. "Oh, hello!" he said in a British accent as his face broke into a huge smile. "Good! You're up! I tell you, am I ever glad to see you! This is gonna be brilliant! D'you have any idea what things are like her without you? Absolutely dreadful—nothing interesting happens, and She's in a foul mood all the time. Well, used to be. She made a new core—ah, you'll see later." He paused, blinking. "Everything alright?"

"Wh-wh...wha?" she stammered, struggling to speak in her confusion? "What's...going on? Wh-who are you?"

That was a stupid question; she knew who he was. He appeared to be human now, for a reason undiscernable to her, but she recognized his voice and his manner even so.

"Don't you..." he began, and then seemed to remember. "Oh! 'Cos I'm human now, that's right. It's me! It's Wheatley!" He beamed at her, spreading his arms and stepping aside, to let her see the hallway beyond. "Welcome back to the Enrichment Center, luv!"


	4. 2: Welcome Home

Chapter 2: Welcome Home

Chell entered the room slowly. It looked mostly as it had last time she'd been here, though like the rest of the facility it had undergone some changes. Standing on the ledge above her was a woman with cropped blonde hair, who did not need to speak to be recognizable. There was only one person she could be.

"What is it?" demanded GLaDOS, turning around. She stopped, blinked, and frowned. "Oh, it's _you."_

Chell held her head high and didn't respond.

"It _has_ been a while, hasn't it?" said the AI sweetly. "Welcome home, Chell."

Welcome home? _This place _isn't_ home,_ Chell thought, but she said nothing.

GLaDOS was apparently indifferent to whether or not she got a response. As expected. "As you probably noticed, there have been some changes in the facility. Maybe you'd like me to show them to you?"

Chell raised an eyebrow. She wasn't sure she wanted a tour from GLaDOS, but she also had the feeling it wasn't actually a choice.

Suddenly, GLaDOS narrowed her red eyes. "Hey, moron!" she snapped. Chell turned to see Wheatley looking around the edge of the door. "Don't you have anything better to do than stand around listening to our conversation?" demanded GLaDOS.

"Ah, no," said Wheatley, and added, a little sullenly, "And I'm not a moron."

"Well, then I'll _give_ you something to do," the AI snapped. "You can start with finding that airheaded new core and _getting my coffee._" When he didn't move, she stood up a little taller, glaring down at him. "_Now,_ Wheatley."

He bolted. GLaDOS glowered after him until the door closed, and then regained her composure. "I'm sorry," she said with a cold smile. "Shall we start our tour?"

Chell, determined not to speak, shrugged and nodded.

GLaDOS descended the stairs to the platform. For the first time, Chell got a good look at her. She was wearing all gray and black, save for the yellow stripe on her vest and skirt. Her silver-blonde hair flipped out at the ends, framing a round face with a pointed chin. The thing Chell noticed the most, though, was the fiercely determined look in her eyes. There, as much as she hated to admit it, was something they had in common, the single similarity which had, more than any of their differences, caused them to clash: neither of them was one to give in to anyone or anything.

Now, though she didn't like it, Chell was beginning to think that perhaps things at the Enrichment Center would go more smoothly if some concessions were made. But she'd be damned if she was going to make all of them. No, if she was going to give a little to GLaDOS, GLaDOS was sure as hell going to give some in return.

She followed GLaDOS into the elevator and it began to rise, stopping several floor above the mainframe chamber in an ambient-lit room which contained several chairs, a glass coffee table, and a sofa. Its ceiling gave the impression of skylights, though Chell knew the light was artificial and the sky was an illusion.

More interesting than the room itself were the people in it. A skinny man with spiky blonde hair was telling a very animated story to a fascinated young woman with huge amber-colored eyes, while a dark-haired woman watched with a look of disinterest. They were all dressed a bit like Wheatley, though both of the women wore skirts. They must be other personality cores.

"This is what you might call the lobby," said GLaDOS. "Of course a lobby is meaningless when we have no visitors, but we have one anyways." She glanced around. "This is Space and Curiosity. And Morality, the one who isn't talking. You remember her, don't you? You put her in the incinerator once."

Chell remembered. Apparently, so did Morality, because she looked over and gave Chell a reprimanding look. Curiosity and Space both looked up at the sound of voices, as well, and Curiosity ran over to greet them.

"Ooh, you're that lady!" she said, excited. "I remember you! Where did you go? How are you? Did your hair get shorter? Oooh, you have shoes now!"

Chell nodded, and was going to answer Curiosity's questions, but GLaDOS was already leaving, and pulling her along behind, so she just waved over her shoulder and hurried after the AI.

"The facility has been divided into...shall we say...levels, now," GLaDOS explained. "Much, much more organized. This level has the lobby, the break room, the dining room, and the kitchen. Speaking of which, here we are now." She twitched her hand and the door opened apparently by itself. "Hello? Is anyone here?"

A low, almost mournful voice replied, "One half cup chocolate flavoring, three cups milk, two teaspoons vanilla."

Chell leaned in and saw a dark-haired man in an apron frowning thoughtfully at a mess of ingredients on the counter. "Intelligence," GLaDOS muttered. "You should remember him, too. It's a shame he's insane—he's almost as intelligent as I am."

There was the sound of running footsteps in the hall, and a young woman with dark, curly hair and dark, liquid eyes ran in, looking a little frantic. "I can't find her!" she cried, brushing her hair back from her face with one hand. "I don't know where..."

She trailed off, catching sight of GLaDOS. "Oh!" she said, and held out a cup in her other hand. "Here!"

"Finally," snapped GLaDOS, and snatched the cup to drink half of its contents. She paused for a second, eyes closed, and then smiled. "Mm. Much better."

"Sorry it took so long," said the girl nervously. "I couldn't, umm, I tried to find you, and then he found me and said you were angry but I still couldn't find you and-"

"Just shut up and be quicker tomorrow," GLaDOS said. "Let's go, Chell."

Chell allowed herself to be led out of the kitchen and down the whitewashed corridor again.

"What do you think so far?" GLaDOS asked. Chell didn't answer, and for the first time a glimmer of irritation appeared in GLaDOS's red eyes. "Really? The silent treatment? I know you can talk. I _heard_ you talking to that moron. You can talk to _him,_ but you won't give _me_ a response?"

Chell folded her arms and kept her silence.

"Fine," GLaDOS said, turning away and marching down the corridor. "Be that way. _I_ don't care."

She stopped in front of another door and pushed it open. Chell looked and decided this must be the break room. There were tables with cards, two different television-like screens, snacks, chairs, and several people sitting around, talking. A short, scrawny kid with dark hair and white clothes was polishing what looked like a weapon.

"That's Fact and Adventure playing cards," GLaDOS said, pointing at the cores. "Atlas and P-body on the sofa. You never met them; they're part of the cooperative testing initiative. The one in the corner is my little Rocket Sentry." She beamed and drank more of her coffee. The Rocket Sentry looked up.

"Heyy!" he called. "You wanna see my rocket?" He grinned hopefully.

"Firing a rocket in this room has a seventy-eight point five percent chance of bringing the ceiling down on us," Fact announced.

"Moving on," said GLaDOS quickly. "We'll take the elevator in here down to the next floor."

They stepped into the elevator and it descended, not to the next floor down, but to the one below that. "You've already seen the relaxation quarters, of course," GLaDOS said as they passed Level 2. "That's just where everyone's bedroom is."

The elevator stopped, and they stepped out into a massive room which Chell suspected couldn't possibly fit just one floor below the living quarters. Of course, Aperture Science liked breaking all the laws of physics, despite the incredibly physics-based nature of their testing. Rules only applied here when it was convenient, a policy of Cave Johnson's which Caroline must have carried on.

"This," GLaDOS announced proudly, "is Test Hub Alpha."

Chell looked around, trying to memorize the room. She had the feeling she would be spending a lot of her time here, so it might pay to be familiar with it. Viewscreens on the walls displayed various pieces of data; between them, numbered doors went all the way around the room, which one could access by way of the shiny steel walkways that formed the floor.

"Every door leads to a different testing track," GLaDOS explained. "The room right above here, where the elevator stops of the second level, will be where your jumpsuit, LongFall boots, and portal device are stored. You will report there to dress for testing every day at eight o'clock. You will also receive your instructions there."

Chell nodded silently.

"You will receive a testing schedule at dinner this evening," GLaDOS continued. "This schedule will outline your testing blocks and your breaks, including meals. Testing begins at eight o'clock a.m., after breakfast, and will start with one or two simple warm-up tests. You have several breaks, during which you will report to the break room. You will have a long break at roughly twelve o'clock p.m. to eat lunch. Testing will resume after each break and end for the day before dinner, for which you will report to the dining room."

It was very tempting to make a comment about the fact that she had breaks now, and that it was a nice change, but Chell suspected that was exactly what GLaDOS was hoping for, and she refused to give the AI that satisfaction.

"I won't show you the test tracks today," GLaDOS said, and smirked. "You'll have _lots_ of time to explore them later." She considered. "There is also another test hub, Test Hub Beta. You will be informed after getting dressed on days you are to report to Test Hub Beta."

Chell wondered what the difference was between the the tests. Deadliness? Challenge level? Thought processes? Well, whatever; she would surely find that out soon enough. She wasn't about to ask GLaDOS.

"Come on, we'll have to go back up to the lobby if we want to see anything else," GLaDOS said, and pulled her back onto the elevator.

The rest of the morning and all afternoon was taken up showing off random parts of the facility: the dining room, while they were up on Level One; the manufacturing area; Turret Training, where scrawny, dark-haired boys in white hoods were given machine guns and taught to use them; Storage Area One, where unused machinery was kept; Storage Area Two, where broken computers or machines or turrets were stored until they could be repaired; Storage Area Three, which contained failed or useless experiments; the medical wing, where both legitimate and experimental medical tests and procedures could be carried out.

GLaDOS only decided that she's had enough of this tour when Chell's stomach started growling; they'd only eaten a little bit of lunch, and it seemed like a very long time ago. They returned to Level One, and Chell headed to the dining room while GLaDOS went to get her test schedule.

"Well?" asked Wheatley as Chell sat down at the table beside him. "How was the, ah, tour?"

"Long," she said softly, and laughed. "The facility's a lot different since last time I was here."

"Yeah, it is, isn't it?" he agreed. "Anything particularly interesting?"

She shrugged. "A lot of stuff I intend to explore in more depth later."

He grinned. "You're Chell, alright," he said, laughing. "Can't leave anything undiscovered. Bit like science, really."

"I suppose it is," she agreed, a little surprised. "Finding things out. Exploring. Trying to understand."

GLaDOS returned at that moment with the test schedule in one hand. Intelligence was right behind her, carrying a pot around and glowering. "Heat water until boiling and add noodles," he muttered darkly as he served everyone their pasta.

"This is your test schedule," GLaDOS announced, handing Chell the sheet of paper. "You will test in the assigned blocks every day unless I have announced a specific change. The test schedule is, in fact, subject to changes and may be altered or rewritten by myself at any time."

Chell only nodded, looking over the schedule. She had four testing blocks, two on either side of lunch at twelve thirty. Only eight total hours of testing; all things considered, that wasn't that bad.

"Lunch at twelve thirty?" Wheatley asked, looking over her shoulder. "Oh, good, it's not too late. I'll be able to have lunch with you!"

"Oh, good," she said, pleased that she would at least have someone to talk to. "I'd like that."

He grinned nervously and busied himself with his pasta. Chell did the same, looking around the room as she ate to memorize faces. She wanted to know who exactly everyone was, so she made no mistakes.

Morality, with the short, dark hair, was sitting next to a man with a pointed face and narrowed eyes. He turned to look at Chell, and his face twisted into a snarl that showed off his pointed teeth. _That must be Anger,_ she thought, and struggled to meet his burning gaze. Morality put her hand on his, and though his eyes narrowed even more, he turned away and kept eating.

Curiosity, the one with the wide amber eyes and the chestnut curls, was sitting next to Space, with his long nose and perpetual grin. He was telling her stories about space, nearly knocking things over on more than one occasion as his hand gestures became more and more animated. Curiosity was hanging on his every word, bless her sweet heart. Anything she hadn't seen was fascinating to her.

Rick was wearing his hat at the table and trying to engage the dark-haired Coffee Core across from him in conversation, but she apparently kept getting distracted. Fact was murmuring random statements of varying accuracy under his breath while fiddling with the pink gem on his bow tie. The ones called Atlas and P-body were sitting together farther down the table: a short, chunky man and a tall, slender woman, both laughing at some joke one of them had made.

And then, of course, there was Wheatley sitting beside her. If there was anything she'd missed about this place, it would be him. True, he might not be the brightest, and he _had_ betrayed her, but above all else, she still thought of him as a friend.

_Maybe I could get used to this,_ she thought, looking around, and smiled.

**A/N: GUYS I'M SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS TOOK SO LONG D: For some reason this chapter was just like impossible to write. Hopefully the next one will be faster—though THAT one involves a TEST CHAMBER so maybe not. :\\  
>On another note, thank you to everyone for your kind reviews! I've been happily surprised at the popularity of this story! I think I've already thanked everyone else personally, but I'd just like to say thanks to Celeste, who I can't send a reply because she's anonymous. Your reviews make my day! :P<br>Hopefully the next chapter will come soon.  
>DG out!<strong>


	5. 3: Let the Games Begin

Chapter 3: Let the Games Begin

Chell stumbled out of bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. It was chilly in her room, and she wrapped a blanket around her shoulders, shivering. She ought to get dressed, but she knew she would be testing in an hour, and she didn't want to put clothes on, only to change into her jumpsuit later. Instead, she pulled her hair into a ponytail and pulled open the door.

GLaDOS was waiting right outside, her nose practically against the door, with a manic grin on her face. "Good morning!" she said, her voice slightly more high-pitched than usual. "I've-devised-seventeen-new-tests-in-the-time-it-took-you-to-wake-up-and-they're-_all_-incredibly-dangerous-and-probably-deadly-_let's-get-started!"_  
>Chell stared, more than a little alarmed. She'd never seen GLaDOS like this, and she was a little frightened. Before she could decide whether ask what was going on, though, GLaDOS had grabbed her arm and was pulling her toward the testing entrance. She walked right past the door which should lead to the elevator and marched into another room, containing another elevator. A portal device sat on a shelf to the left.<p>

"You're-going-to-Test-Hub-Beta-today!"GLaDOS said excitedly. "These-tests-will-require-the-help-of-another-test-subject-so-you'll-just-have-to-wait-I'll-go-get-him-now-be-right-back!"

She turned and hurried away. Chell stared after her, then stepped out to change into her jumpsuit, put on her LongFall boots. Just as she was picking up the portal device, GLaDOS ran back in, dragging Wheatley behind her.

"You'll-have-to-figure-out-these-puzzles-on-your-own-I-have-a-new-device-I-have-to-start-working-on-right-away-so-if-you'll-excuse-me," she said, and shoved them both in the elevator.

"Wait! Nonononono _wait!"_ Wheatley cried as the doors started to close. "I haven't got those boots, if I fall I'll probably die, wait, you can't send me down there like this, _wait!"_ The doors shut and there was time to see GLaDOS give them a manic grin before they descended and she was out of sight.

The elevator let them out in the test hub, where walkways led off to the testing tracks. Chell walked into the center of the room and looked around. On the wall above her, a screen displayed the names Chell and Wheatley, with more information below. The door just to the right of the elevator was labeled _1._

"I guess we...we'll start there," she stammered, and nodded at the door.

"Brilliant," said Wheatley with a sigh. "I've got no portal device and no falling-protecting boots. Look how useful I am."

Chell frowned. "It seems odd to me. Sh-she'd have given you a portal device if you needed one for the tests, but if you don't have one, I don't know how you're useful."

"Oh, thanks," he said, annoyed. "Much appreciated."

She laughed. "Didn't mm—mean it like that."

They stepped into the elevator and descended to the first chamber. The doors opened and Chell stepped out, already assessing the chamber. There was a large platform for them to stand on, which dropped off into a pool of acid ten meters down. She could see now why Wheatley hadn't been given a portal device: there was one on a pedestal in the center of the room, too far away from their platform to jump to.

"Oh," said Wheatley, seeing it. "So, ah, that...that would be my portal device, wouldn't it? Brilliant. How, um, how are we going to get it?"

"I'm thinking," she said, staring around the room, taking in the light bridge on the other side, the few surfaces she could put portals on, the platforms and buttons on either side of the room, the emancipation grille on the left side, the metal grate on the right.

"Right," he said. "I'll...just shut up now..."

He hummed softly to himself as she studied the chamber, but of course, he couldn't stay quiet for very long. "What do you think of the new facility, by the way? Pretty fancy, isn't it?"

She nodded and fired the portals to continue the light bridge on their side of the chamber, though it required some maneuvering to get a portal around the emancipation grille. "You need to press that button," she told him, pointing to the left platform.

He looked a little sullen. "Alright," he sighed, and stepped onto the light bridge. She waited until he was safely on the other platform before moving the portals so that one was on the ceiling above the right platform. Wheatley pressed the switch, and a weighted storage cube fell onto the platform beside him.

"What now?" he asked, sounding tired.

It occurred to Chell that he might have wanted more of an answer to his question. "Put it through the portal," she said. "It's going to fall, but that doesn't matter." As he did so, a little reluctantly, she added, "It's pretty nice. The facility. Too clean and...efficient?...in some parts, but I like it."

He was smiling again when he turned back to her. "Well, you get used to it, I suppose. How about your room? Is it comfortable?"

"It r—re-reminds me of a cryostasis chamber," she said, shuddering a little. "But yes, it's comfortable enough."

She moved the bridge back and crossed to the other side, then changed the portals again to drop down on the other side of the grate.

"You can get some other stuff for it, if you want," he said. "She'll let you. I think. Probably. Make it less...relaxation vault...like, yeah? You know, a...chair, or different art, or a mirror, or something. If you want."

She set the cube down carefully on one super button, and stood on the other; two platforms lifted up out of the acid to form a walkway to the portal device. "You think she'd just let me go get things?" she asked, and laughed as she pulled the bridge over for the third time. "Cross over and pick up the portal gun."

He crossed the bridge and warily stepped on to the walkway. "Well, she might," he said. "She lets us leave, sometimes, to go get coffee or whatever. And you must've seen the stuff in the break room, right? We, that is, the cores, not me but the other ones, they got a bunch of stuff, blankets and pillows and cards and things. Still haven't learned to play cards, maybe one of them should teach me." He hesitated, then snatched up the portal gun and jumped back as if expecting a trap.

"There's no need to be frightened of the pedestal it won't hurt you and can in fact not move that test took you much longer than I expected and that's the easiest one well you'd better hurry up because I'm already devising new tests for when you're done with these ones!" said the voice of GLaDOS above them, still talking fast.

"What's wrong with her?" Chell asked quietly as she walked back over to the center chamber.

"She's, ah, had coffee," Wheatley said.

Chell blinked. "She had coffee yesterday, too, and she wasn't like _this."_

"Well, I think she's also had about six cups," he added.

She laughed and fired her own portals to place the light bridge. "When you get over there, I'm going to move the portals and you'll have to put your own where I had them," she explained. "Then we can just cross over to the door."

They finally completed the test and stepped through the door, to be greeted by an extremely sarcastic, "Oooh, _well_ done! I'd-like-to-inform-you-that-you're-being-timed-on-these-tests-by-the-way-you-did-terribly-my-cooperative-testing-robots-would-have-done-_much_-better."

"Sixteen tests to go," Chell muttered under her breath, ignoring the AI.

By the time they got a break, Wheatley was exhausted. No sooner had the elevator reached the break room than he collapsed into the nearest chair. "I'm not moving for the rest of the day," he announced. "I've been turned upside down and left-side-right and practically inside out, run through tests like a mouse, had things dropped on me, fallen, jumped, nearly gotten crushed, or fried with bloody _lasers,_ and I am not doing one more test. Not today, not tomorrow, not for the rest of my life."

Chell gave him a look. He blinked, and a look of dawning comprehension crossed his face.

"I mean, not that you're not probably exhausted too," he said hastily, holding up his hands. "I mean, you got dragged into it first thing out of bed, weren't even dressed yet—I guess so, that is, not that I would know, well, obviously, because I didn't see you before she dragged me in there—only, you've, ah, you've done it a lot, haven't you, and I'm, well, yes, it's not so much the running around that gets to me, it's more the not getting a chance to rest, you know?" He laughed nervously. "And, ah, that gravity changes from one portal to the other, which, I mean, maybe you're just used to it I suppose, but for me, see, it's kind of disorienting—makes me feel a bit sick, to be honest, that's the worst of it really, not the, ah, long...ness, because of course you've tested for _much_ longer, and you never even got breaks, back then, and..."

He trailed off as he realized she wasn't looking at him, even though she _was_ listening. She had crossed the room to get a power bar from the table of snacks, but she was smiling at him as she turned back to face him. He relaxed visibly, shoulders slumping as he fell back into the chair again.

"So," she said as she sat down on the arm of the chair. "You...think that she would let me out? Willingly?"

He hesitated. "Well. Probably. Maybe. I mean, she lets us out, sometimes. The cores. She can be a little, ah, reluctant, though. Might not be as easy as just walking out of here. But it's hard to say, she might be perfectly happy to let you go...though you can't be called automatically back to the facility so that might complicate things."

She considered, crumpling the wrapper of the power bar in her hand. "I'm going to try," she said after a moment. "Tonight, after dinner. I'm going to leave."

The door opened suddenly, and she turned to see GLaDOS standing there. "Your-break-has-been-over-for-five-minutes-please-return-to-the-elevator-and-continue-testing," she said, sounding a little annoyed.

Chell got to her feet, threw away the power bar wrapper, and stepped into the lift, bracing herself for another round of grueling tests.

"You too, moron!" GLaDOS added when Wheatley didn't move.

"I'm not a moron!" he protested weakly, but he got up and followed Chell.

They spent the rest of the day testing, breaking only two times before finally being brought upstairs for dinner. Around lunchtime, GLaDOS had started to calm down, and by now she was more or less her normal self—cool, snarky, and sarcastic as only she could be.

"Well," she drawled as they came in. "You two are late. How did it take you _so_ long to get back here?"

Chell lifted her head and didn't answer. Silently, she sat down at the table and waited for dinner to be served.

It wasn't until they were cleaning up that Wheatley leaned over and whispered to her, "Well? Are you going to ask her if you can go? 'Cos, you know, now would be a really great time, I'd imagine. Not that you should listen to me I suppose."

She shook her head without looking at him and handed Intelligence her plate. He mumbled something about frosting and took it. Wheatley followed her, practically stepping on her feet. "What're you shaking your head about? Aren't you planning to ask her?" he whispered.

She signed _no_ at him and shook her head again. She would have explained, but she was determined not to speak and she suspected he wouldn't understand much from her sign language. Instead, she just pointed surreptitiously at the door. He stared at her, utterly bewildered, and she rolled her eyes.

The door opened as she approached and she stepped out into the hallway. Wheatley followed her down the hall to the lobby, which was empty.

"So, you're just going to leave?" he asked. "Without telling her, or anything?" There was a note in his voice that she couldn't place, but it sounded almost afraid. Their eyes met, she looking up at him, and he down at her, and the look on his face was a sad one, partly hurt, partly lonely.

"Yeah," she said, lowering her gaze so she didn't have to see his face as she said it. "I'm just gonna leave. But I...I'll come back. Soon. I promise."

She glanced up, and his face had relaxed, his mouth lifted in a half-smile. "Well, alright," he said. "If you're really coming back, I suppose—not that I would try to stop you, just, I'd rather if you come back, it's really quite a lot less boring for me when you're around. And a _lot_ less pointless errands to keep Her entertained."

"I'll come back," she said, and smiled back at him. "Just want to know what She'll do. And some things to get. For my room. To make it less..."

"Relaxation-chamber-like," he said, nodding. "Suppose I'll see you later, then." He grinned at her. "Good luck, luv!"

She waved as she stepped into the elevator. "Bye, Wheatley."

"Bye," he said, waving back, and watched as she was lifted out of the lobby, up to the surface.

Only when her feet had disappeared above the ceiling did he let the cheerful grin fade from his face and turn to leave the lobby. It looked like GLaDOS had already figured out what had happened, because she was running towards him, looking furious.

"Where is she?" demanded the AI. "Where did she go?"

"She left," he said matter-of-factly. "Gone. She told me she'd come back, there was just some things she had to take care of first. We'll be seeing her again."

_I hope,_ he added silently, and watched as GLaDOS stormed past him into the lobby.

Above the facility, Chell was already running towards the road, pushing through the wheat as quickly as she could. At the edge of the field, she looked back briefly at the rundown shed which concealed the entrance to the Enrichment Center.

She could pretend otherwise, but there was really no point in lying to herself. She knew she would be back sooner or later.

Smiling slightly in triumph, she turned and walked away, down the road towards town.

**A/N: GAHHHHH. FINALLY. This chapter took like FOREVER, man. D: I don't even know why this was so hard to write. Chell and Wheatley just didn't want to do anything I guess, ugh. The ending of these feels really forced and I might rewrite it later if people think I should. **

**Anyways I hope you enjoyed this and it didn't suck too much haha.**

**DG out.**


	6. Stargazing

Interlude: Stargazing

Curiosity was almost asleep when the door opened and Space poked his head in. "Psst!" he whispered. "Curiosity! Are you awake?"

She nodded and sat up. "What's going on? What are you doing? Why are you up so late?"

"I'm gonna show you space!" he whispered eagerly, running in the grab her hand. "Come on!"

She stumbled to her feet and he pulled her down the corridor, until turning suddenly through a small door she'd never noticed before.

"Where are we going?" she asked, looking around. They were on a catwalk, below which was apparent emptiness and above which she could see other catwalks among the mess of pipes and cables. It was like another world in here, one she had never realized existed, and she couldn't take in enough details.

"Up!" he replied, pointing above them. "There's a secret way. We can go see space!"

"Space?" she echoed. How were they going to see space?

"Yeah, space! You can see space at night!" He tugged on her hand, urging her to go faster.

"Space!" she cried, delighted.

"Shh," he whispered. "Quiet, or you'll wake _Her_ up!"

"Oops, sorry," she whispered back, and giggled a little.

He led her up several sets of metal stairs and through another secret door into the lobby, which was dark and silent, the projected sky turned off for the night. They stepped into the lift, and went up.

At the top of the elevator shaft was a tiny room with a rusty door. Space pushed it open carefully, and a cool, sweet-smelling breeze hit them. He pulled her outside and pointed up at the sky.

"Look!" he cried, no longer trying to be quiet. "It's space!

"Wowww," she breathed, staring up at the diamond-flecked sky. "It's so big! It must go on forever!"

"Yeah!" he agreed, and laid down in the grass to see the stars better. She laid down nearby, with her head next to his. "What's that?" she asked, pointing at a line of stars that curved overhead.

"It's the Big Dipper!" he shouted. "And there's the Little Dipper, too!" He traced another group of stars with his finger and tipped his head back to look at her, grinning.

"Oooh, cool!" she said, seeing the picture now that he pointed it out. "How about that?"

He thought for a moment before shouting, "A spaceship!" She laughed and wondered if there were aliens in the spaceship, looking down at them right now.

"Space?" she asked after a moment.

"What?"

"Are you ever gonna go back to space?" She stared at the sky, trying to imagine him up there, exploring those faraway stars.

"Yeah!" he said, excited. "And you're gonna come with me!"

Her heart had fallen into her stomach when he'd said he was going back, but suddenly it lifted, feeling too big and warm for her chest. "Really? Can I?"

"We'll go to space!" he told her. "Explore it all! So much space! We gotta see it!"

"Gotta go explore space!" she agreed, and reached up to grab his hand.

A bright streak flashed across the sky, and she pointed. "Oooh, what's _that?"_

"A shooting star!" he shouted. "Make a wish! Make a wish on the shooting star!"

She closed her eyes and wished as hard as she could for everything that mattered: that he would go back to space, and that she would go with him, and that they would both be happy. His fingers tightened around hers, and she wondered if he was wishing for the same thing as her.

Their eyes met for a moment, and she knew that he was.


	7. 4: Rain, Rain

Chapter Four: Rain, Rain

Chell stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby, shivering and miserable, to see Wheatley sitting in the chair right across the room from her. He lifted his head as the door closed behind her, and delight registered on his face, only to be replaced with surprise and concern as he looked more closely.

"Oh, hello," he said. "You're, ah, very wet."

She pushed her sopping hair out of her face. "Thanks, Wheatley," she sighed, and threw her backpack on the table. It made a wet _flump_ noise, splashing water across the glass.

"Oh, my," Morality said, looking up from her book to see first the backpack, then Chell.

"Er, sorry," Wheatley said apologetically. "That was sort of obvious, wasn't it? Stupid of me, sorry, never mind I even said it."

"It's fine," she mumbled, her shoulders slumping now that she wasn't carrying the backpack. Her clothes were so waterlogged that they felt about fifty pounds heavier than usual. She pulled off her jacket, only to realize with some dismay that her tank top was practically transparent when it was wet.

Before Wheatley had a chance to speak, the door opened and GLaDOS came in, looking displeased. "So you're back," she said, folding her arms. "Look at you—getting water everywhere. Are you _trying_ to get yourself killed? That's what happens if you go out in the rain, you know. You get pneumonia and _die._"

Chell gave her a look but didn't speak. She was certainly not going to give GLaDOS the satisfaction of a response _now._

"If that's what you want, I have a dozen faster, less miserable ways," GLaDOS continued. "They also involve testing, so we could even get some science done while we're at it."

Chell just looked at her wearily, dripping water on the floor.

"You're shivering," GLaDOS noticed aloud. "You should probably go warm up by the fire. ...In the incinerator."

"Hey, just a moment-" protested Wheatley. Morality gave GLaDOS that look she was so good at, which conveyed disapproval without a sound.

"I didn't mean to _sit_ in the incinerator," GLaDOS said to Morality, annoyed. "That's the only fire there is. It has openings." Turning back to Chell, she added, "Anyway, if you _don't_ plan on dying, you should probably change into some dry clothes."

Chell nodded and grabbed her backpack before traipsing to her room to change out of her dripping clothes. As soon as she'd taken off her wet things, she started to feel better, though she was still cold even after putting on her pajamas. Still shivering, she returned to the lobby and found that both GLaDOS and Morality had gone, leaving only Wheatley leaning against the wall, apparently waiting for her.

"The others have all gone down to, ah, the break room," he said, gesturing vaguely behind him. "Well, maybe not GLaDOS—dunno where _she_ went—but anyways. D'you want to go there? It's a bit warmer, we've, ah, got this heating thing—it_ is_ routed from the incinerator actually-"

She laughed. "That sounds good."

"Got coffee in there, too, now," he said brightly. "So you can have a nice hot cup of coffee, alright?"

"Y-yeah, that sounds good," she said, and wrapped her arms around herself, shivering.

"You're not still cold?" he asked, sounding concerned.

She nodded. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him move. Her shoulders tensed—just from the cold, she told herself—and for a second she thought he was about to put his arm around her shoulders, but instead he pulled off his jacket and draped it over her.

"Better?" he asked softly, smiling at her.

"Yeah, thanks," she said, pulling his jacket closer around her. It was already warm from his own heat, and she smiled at him, grateful.

"So, ah, what about you?" he asked. "You alright?"

"I'm fine," she said. "Just cold and wet." She laughed a little as he pulled her wet hair out of his jacket so it didn't keep soaking her shoulders.

The break room was a lot warmer than the corridors, and the atmosphere was quiet and sleepy. Chell crossed the room to sit in front of the faintly glowing heater. The jacket, too large for her, folded up around her.

"What kind of coffee d'you want, luv?" Wheatley called from across the room. "There's all kinds." He looked at the labels on the coffee dispensers. "Latte, mocha, espresso, cappuccino, cocoa—that's not coffee, but anyways..."

"I don't care," she said. "Just something hot."

Curiosity ran over to give her a hug. "Chell!" she cried, excited. "You're all wet. Are those pajamas? What happened? Is it raining? Are you okay?"

"Well, more like storming," she said, and laughed as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail again. "But I'll be fine once I warm up."

Wheatley came over with her coffee, being careful not to spill it. She took the cup, smiling, and sipped it cautiously.

"_Mmm,"_ she murmured. "Thanks."

He sat down next to her, a small smile on his face. "Feeling better, luv?" he asked, watching her intently.

"Much," she said, nodding, and drank more of her coffee. It was hot and strong and sweet with vanilla and caramel. She closed her eyes and sighed happily.

"What kind of coffee is that?" Curiosity asked. "Can I try some? Is it good?"

"Careful, it's hot," Chell warned, handing her the cup. Curiosity took a sip and her eyes lit up.

"Ooh, it's tasty! What's in it?" She handed it back and curled up next to Chell. "I thought you were leaving," she said. "Why did you come back?"

Chell thought about that. She could have left easily, could have gone home forever. But instead, she had come back, of her own volition—back to the place that, not so long ago, she would have given anything to escape. What had made her return? Why _had_ she come back here, through a thunderstorm, getting absolutely drenched in the process, to the place that had once been her prison.

Because she'd made a promise—that was her first thought. She's told Wheatley that she would come back. But she'd made that promise for a reason, too. There had been something, some thought in her subconscious, that had caused her to make a promise she had to be crazy to keep.

"Because I have friends here," she said at last. "There are people here that make it worth dealing with _her."_

"Am I your friend?" asked Curiosity. It wasn't a worried question, or suspicious, or hopeful or pleading. It was just a question, just wondering who Chell considered a friend.

"Yes," Chell said.

Curiosity beamed. "I love having friends!"

"So do I," Chell agreed.

Wheatley didn't speak, but he was smiling slightly as he looked at her. She smiled back and closed her eyes, breathing in the smell of her coffee and of his jacket wrapped around her shoulders like a blanket. For a moment, she felt like a child, warming up by the fire with a mug of hot chocolate, surrounded by people she loved, people who loved her.

She couldn't remember such a scene clearly, but she knew it had been a long time since she'd felt so safe and comfortable as she did right here, and now. She could almost lose herself in the sense of familiarity, could almost forget where she was, what had happened here...

"What are you doing still in here?" demanded a voice. Chell opened her eyes and turned to see GLaDOS standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. "You look dry to me," she continued. "There is another jumpsuit waiting for you in the locker room. Please report there for testing."

Chell held up her coffee and took a sip. So much for that nice warm feeling.

GLaDOS folded her arms. "_Now,"_ she said sternly.

Their eyes met, and Chell shook her head slightly. A long moment passed in which the whole room seemed to hold its breath. Neither of them moved or broke eye contact for a second.

"Ten minutes," GLaDOS said.

Chell nodded. "Thank you," she said, and turned back to the heating unit, but not before she glimpsed the look of surprise on the AI's face.

Another moment passed in silence, and then Chell heard the _click-click-click_ of GLaDOS marching away down the corridor.

"I thought you weren't talking to her," Wheatley said, surprised.

Chell smiled and sipped her coffee. "Giving up and making concessions aren't the same," she said calmly. "She can't make my will break, but if she can swallow her pride and find a compromise, then so can I."

She finished the cup of coffee and put it down on the table. "I'll see you later," she said, waving, and left the break room to start testing.

**A/N: This chapter was so much easier than the last two :D AND IT'S SO CUTE FFFFFFFFF.**

**I'd like to say thank you to all of you for your lovely reviews. The response to this story has been absolutely stunning and has really given me the motivation to keep going. You guys are the reason I write. You really are. :heart!:**


	8. Observation

Interlude: Observation

Chell was eating a candy bar.

Wheatley wasn't looking at the candy bar; he was looking at her mouth, which just happened to have a candy bar in it. It wouldn't have mattered if she was talking or drinking coffee or just smiling, though it was a bit more interesting when her tongue peeked out through her teeth as she took another bite.

_No, stop thinking like that, that's awful of you,_ he thought, and tore his eyes away from the curve of her lips, only to find his gaze falling on her hair. It shone faintly in the light, revealing traces of gold in her dark hair. A strand kept falling into her eyes, and she kept tucking it behind her ear with her slender fingers. Her hand moved gracefully as she tucked it away again and rested her arm on the table, toying with the corner of the page she was reading.

She looked up, and he hastily turned his attention back to the book _he_ was reading, or trying to read at any rate. When he risked a glance at her a minute later, she had gone back to reading.

He tried not to stare, but he couldn't see to help watching as she took another very slow bite from her candy bar. She tilted her head slightly so her bangs fell to the other side, and leaned forward. This had the fortunate—no, _unfortunate—_no, wait—the effect of making her...her chest...amazingly—alarmingly!-_a lot more_ obvious. He swallowed, knowing he should look away and unable to find the willpower to actually do it.

She turned her head slightly, and he buried his nose in his book again, holding it a little too close to his face in an effort to hide the flush creeping into his cheeks. It was a good five minutes before he dared to raise his eyes. She was absorbed in her book once more, and was thankfully sitting back again, so his eyes weren't drawn to her...feminine...assets. He could only hope that nothing else of _that_ nature happened again, because he wasn't sure he could handle that.

To his relief, GLaDOS arrived as Chell's break ended, before anything worse could come up. With a sigh, Chell closed her book and walked to the lift, leaving him alone in the break room.

"Hey, moron," said GLaDOS in a bored voice from the doorway. "If you're being useless, I have a job for you."

"Ah, yes, alright," he said distractedly, his head spinning a little.

She gave him a strange look as he walked down the corridor a few steps behind her. "What's the matter with _you?"_ she demanded. "You didn't even _react_ when I called you a moron!"

"I'm fine," he said hastily. "Perfectly alright. Also, ah, not a moron."

She paused, still giving him a look which seemed like she was calculating. Then the corner of her mouth twitched in a smile and she turned away, humming softly to herself as she led the way to the mainframe chamber.

**A/N: Wheatley is an incredibly fun character to write. His ramblings, both internal and voiced, give me no end of entertainment. And his adorably awkward foot-in-mouth moments are so fun. This interlude was great to write. :D**


	9. 5: Look After You

Chapter 5: Look After You

Chell was the last one to the breakfast table, and she didn't look happy. In fact, though Wheatley would _never_ say as much, she looked pretty awful.

"You alright?" he asked her. She shrugged, folding her arms and hunching her shoulders. He wanted to pursue it, but it was pretty obvious she wasn't in a talking mood, and he knew he would get nothing else out of her.

Coffee brought out Chell's morning cup of coffee and set it down. "What do you want to eat?" she asked politely.

"Whatever," Chell mumbled, staring at the table. She took a sip of coffee and closed her eyes. There were shadows under them, showing the exhaustion she tried to hide, and the smile that normally softened her face when she had her coffee did not appear. Wheatley watched her, concerned, certain that something really was wrong. She set down her coffee and, with a quiet whimper, curled in on herself to rest her head on the table, knees drawn up as far as they could be.

"Chell?" he asked, touching her shoulder. She didn't react in the slightest. "Chell, what's the matter, luv?"

"_Nnnh,_"she groaned, and he saw her jaw clench. "Hurts."

"What's wrong with _you_?" GLaDOS asked, frowning.

Chell lifted her head to fix the AI with a death glare. "Gonna kill you," she muttered darkly.

GLaDOS looked back, unapologetic. "Oh, you don't really mean that," she said sweetly. "You're just in a bad temper. Cramps, I suppose?"

Chell nodded. GLaDOS smirked slightly. "How...unfortunate."

"Please tell me you are not going to make me test today," Chell said, burying her head in her hands and bracing her feet against the edge of her chair. "I can't test today."

"If you're in that much pain, maybe you should spend the day in the medical wing," GLaDOS said drily.

"I do _not_ need to go to the medical wing," Chell snapped. "I just want to go back to bed."

"You can't make her test if she's not feeling well," Wheatley said on Chell's behalf. He was sorely tempted to hit the smirk off of the AI's face. "Let her go back to bed."

GLaDOS gave him a condescending look. "Fine," she said after a moment. "If _you're_ willing to get her whatever she needs." She turned away, her eyes closed. "_I_ don't have time to go running around for her sake."

"Not a problem," he said cheerfully. "Come on, Chell, you ought to head back to bed and get some rest."

"Have a glass of juice first!" GLaDOS called as she stalked back to the mainframe chamber.

As if he'd already known about the order, Intelligence brought out a glass of orange juice and a plate of pancakes. "One and one-half cups flour, one and one-fourth cups milk, one whole egg," he mumbled as he set them down. Wheatley shook his head at the cook. Mad. Brilliant, yes, probably a genius, but completely mad.

"There are chocolate chips in these pancakes," Chell said, and for the first time that morning she sounded pleased. "Thank goodness for _that."_

She ate her pancakes, and finished both juice _and_ coffee, before getting up from the table and shuffling off to bed. Wheatley followed her anxiously.

"Anything I can get for you?" he asked her, looking around the edge of the door.

She shook her head. "Not really. There's nothing as normal as painkillers in this place." She laughed weakly and sat down on the edge of her bed, pulling her legs up to curl into a ball under the covers.

"Well," he said nervously. "I'll, ah, come back later and make sure you're alright. How does that sound?"

"Sounds good," she said, wincing, and he left.

When he returned, she was curled on her side, looking miserable. She raised her head slightly as he came in, and tried to smile. "Hey," she mumbled.

"Thought you were going to sleep," he said.

"Can't sleep," she replied. "It hurts too much." Her mouth tensed, and for a fraction of a second she looked like she might cry.

An idea occurred to him, and after a moment's consideration he decided there wasn't any way for this one to grow wrong. "Tell you what—I'll be right back. There's tea to make in the kitchen, I'll bring you some. Help you sleep. Alright?"

She nodded, closing her eyes, and he sprinted down to the kitchen. Intelligence was making something for lunch, and Coffee was perched on the counter, the usual deer-in-headlights look on her face.

"Ah, hello," Wheatley said. "I've got to get some tea. 'Scuse me for a moment."

He looked in the cupboards and found the tea he was looking for. "Don't suppose you could boil the water, could you?"

Coffee jumped up and filled the Aperture Science Instant Water Boiler and Insulation Maker with water. He watched the heating fluid shoot through the pipes, and steam hissed out of the top. Coffee took the water out and poured it into a mug. Wheatley added the tea. It filled the water, and he carried it carefully back up to Chell's room.

"Got it," he said, and set it down on the table. Chell sat up slowly and leaned against the pillows as she picked up the mug and took a sip.

"Thanks," she said, managing a smile. He grinned back, pleased that he'd been able to help. She took another sip of tea and lowered the mug to hold it against her abdomen, breathing in the steam.

"Is that a bit better?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the bed beside her. She nodded. "Oh, good," he said. "Drink all of it, mind, it'll help you sleep."

She drank half of the tea and curled herself around the mug again. "You're a good friend," she said, and smiled at him. "Nice to have someone who brings you tea."

"Well, I try," he said modestly. Silence fell, and Chell closed her eyes for a moment. He started to stand. "I, ah, I'll be going then. So you can sleep."

She grabbed his arm before he could leave. "Stay," she said. He hesitated, then sat down again.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked, determined to make her as comfortable as possible.

"Talk to me," she said simply, taking another sip of tea. "Until I fall asleep." She paused. "If you don't mind, that is," she added, a hint of color rising in her cheeks.

"Course not," he said, and cast about for something to say. "So—this happens _every month?"_ was the first thing he thought of.

She laughed. "Sometimes it's twice, every once in a blue moon. Not always this bad, though." She winced and drank more of her tea before pressing it into her stomach again.

"What do you do when you're at home?" he asked. "Does...does someone bring you tea then?"

She shook her head. "It's just me. I try to keep some chocolate in the apartment."

He felt guilty for being glad that she lived on her own. "Are you lonely?" he asked, hoping the answer was no, so he could feel better.

"Sometimes," she said, and he felt worse instead. "It's my choice, though," she added. "I haven't met anyone I like well enough to live with for long."

He wondered if that meant she had a boyfriend, but he decided not to ask her that. Instead, he asked, "Is that why you came back here, even after She let you leave?"

She shrugged and finished her tea. "Maybe. It's nice to have the company." Her eyes closed and she laid back down on her side.

"Even though She puts you through day after day of testing?" he joked.

"Didn't mean _her_ company," she murmured. Her voice was getting sleepier; the tea was working.

He hesitated. "What about mine?"

She opened one eye. "You ask too many questions," she said, but he hoped her smile meant _yes._ "Tell me about what things are like here. When I'm home. Tell me about you."

"Well," he began, and stopped. "It's alright," he said. "Sort of boring I suppose. I mostly run errands for Her. She doesn't think I'm useful as a test subject, so I get stuck doing whatever happens to need done. It's not that bad, though. I manage, at any rate. Could be worse, you know? Could be dead, or in space, or something." He stopped, thinking. "It's a bit lonely here, too. I mean, I know the other cores are around, but they...well. Don't talk to them that much. They all think I'm...you know, a moron. Nobody ever listens to anything I say." He sighed. "Mostly I miss you. I mean, you're my best friend. My only friend, really, to be honest."

He glanced at her and saw she was asleep. A part of him was a little disappointed that she hadn't heard that last bit, but mostly he was glad to see her looking more peaceful and less in pain. She looked quite lovely in her sleep; her face seemed softer, without her mouth set so firmly and that serious look in her gray eyes.

Smiling slightly to himself, he got to his feet and left the room.

An hour later, he returned to find that she was awake again, lying on her side in the fetal position. He sat down next to her, pushing her bangs out of her face. "How are you feeling, luv?"

"Like someone's stabbing me with a kitchen knife," she said, and managed a weak, strained laugh. "But otherwise I'm fine."

He shook his head at her, feeling immensely sorry for her. "Anything I can get for you?" he asked, and put a hand on her shoulder, since that felt like the right thing to do.

"Some more of that tea would be nice," she said. "Or some chocolate?"

"Right away," he said, jumping up and heading towards the door.

"Hey, Wheatley?"

He stopped and turned. "Something else?"

"Could you maybe fill a bottle—a _plastic_ one, not a metal one—with hot water? That helps too, sometimes."

"Absolutely," he agreed, and rushed to the kitchen for the things she'd asked for. It took him somewhat longer to get back; he had to be extremely careful to carry everything and not drop it all. "Here you are," he announced as he came into her room again. "Got a cup of tea, some chocolate, and not one, but _two_ plastic bottles filled with hot water." Things _did_ fall out of his hands as he set the tea on the table, but he didn't spill any tea, and that was what counted.

She smiled at him. "Wheatley, you're the best friend I've ever had," she said, and unwrapped a piece of chocolate.

He swelled up inside with pride. He _never_ got that sort of compliment. It was practically unheard of! "Well, I do my best," he said, trying to sound modest.

Chell sat up to drink a little of her tea and grabbed the water bottles to rest them in the curve of her abdomen. "Could you..." she began, and hesitated. "You've already done a lot. Thank you. But if you don't...mind...could you rub my shoulders?"

"Not a problem," he said, his heart rate rising a little. A problem? There was nothing he'd rather do than make her more comfortable.

Well. There might have been one or two things he'd rather do, but they weren't important right now. Her immediate happiness was really his top priority.

He sat behind her, gently massaging her shoulders and back, marveling that he could possibly be so close to her, be in contact with her. It occurred to him that maybe he was dreaming, which would rather conveniently explain the whole situation. That thought alarmed him; weren't you supposed to wake up from a dream once you realized it was a dream? He didn't want to wake up from this! But when a few minutes passed and he didn't wake up, he relaxed again. It wasn't a dream. It was real. This...this was all really happening.

What had ever happened, he wondered, to make tiny little Wheatley so bloody lucky? He'd had the worst luck in the _world_ once, but now...

And GLaDOS, he thought smugly, had intended it as a _punishment_ when she'd charged him with making Chell comfortable. Well, he'd turned _that_ around! For once in his life, exactly when he needed it—and, more importantly, when Chell needed it—he'd had a really, honestly _good_ idea.

"Thanks," Chell said softly, leaning her head back as she set down her cup of tea. "It isn't usually this bad. It's just—you know, being somewhere new, going through tests again for the first time in months—it'll get better. I hope."

"Well, if it doesn't, you've always got me," he said helpfully.

"Yeah," she said softly, closing her eyes as the tea started to make her sleepy. "I've got you."

With that said, she fell silent, and he stayed right beside her until she drifted off to sleep.

**A/N: So I absolutely loved writing this chapter. So much Chelley sweetness :DDDDD For those of you who aren't as obsessed with this fluffy nonsense, I'll have a silly non-fluffy story next chapter. (So far all of those seem to involve coffee...xDD) Hope you like it~**

**DG out!**


	10. 6: Minor Setbacks

Chapter 6: Minor Setbacks

When Intelligence arrived in the kitchen, Coffee was already there. That was normal; she usually woke up first to make coffee for everyone. What alarmed him was the tears streaming down her cheeks and the frantic look on her face.

"Why are there clouds?" he asked her, touching her shoulder. "Where did the storm come from?"

"The water boiler won't work!" she said desperately, and sobbed. "She's going to be so angry!"

He stared and turned to the Aperture Science Instant Water Boiler and Insulation Maker. It was switched on, but the coils weren't heating up.

"No lightning," he said, and started to pry the sides off the water boiler. "I'll make it warm. One hundred degrees centigrade, seventy-four thousand two hundred forty-nine joules, fourteen thousand eight hundred watts." The side clattered off and he stared into the inner working of the machine, trying to find what was wrong.

Coffee watched him for a moment, then went outside to wait, sniffling and wiping the tears from her eyes.

A floor below her, Chell stepped out of her room just as Wheatley was walking past. He nearly walked into her, stopped himself, and grinned. "Oh, hello!" he said brightly. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"I'm alright," she said, and walked with him to the elevator. "How about you?"

"Excellent!" he replied as the doors closed and they rose to the top level. "Wonder what's for breakfast today? I'm starved."

They stepped out of the elevator and crossed the break room into the hallway, where Chell saw the dark-haired Coffee Core sitting in the hallway with her face buried in her hands. "Oh!" she said softly, and hurried down the hallway to find out what was wrong. "Coffee? Are you okay?"

Coffee sniffled and nodded, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand and looking pretty much not okay.

Wheatley knelt on the floor and put a hand on the newest core's shoulder. "What's the matter, mate?" he asked. "Anything we can do?"

"I br-broke it," Coffee whimpered. "The water boiler. It's not working and now I can't make coffee and She's going to be so angry at me..."

"Ah." He sucked a breath in through his teeth. "Yeah, that might be a bit of a problem. You probably want to go into hiding, that might be best. Does anyone know how to fix it?"

"Intelligence is trying," Coffee said, and swallowed. "He would be able to, if anyone would."

"Sounds about right," Wheatley agreed. "You'd better find a place to hide. Ooh, there's a place down below where a bunch of those crap turrets hide out to avoid redemption. I know where it is, I'll take you."

"I'll try to keep GLaDOS at bay," said Chell. "If you see Morality on the way down, or back, send her as well. We'll probably need her help."

"Got it," he agreed, getting back to his feet. "Come on, mate, I'll help you up. We'd better hurry; she'll be here any minute."

Coffee climbed to her feet and followed him into the break room elevator. That wasn't the most efficient way down to the areas below the residential quarters, but it was the safest, considering the other elevator went directly through the mainframe chamber where GLaDOS would have woken up by ow and would be getting into the elevator to come upstairs.

Chell stepped into the break room as well, preparing to be a distraction as soon as GLaDOS came in sight.

Just a moment after the break room elevator descended, the lobby door opened. GLaDOS came stalking down the hallway, looking sleepy and sullen. Chell watched through the camera feed on the screen until the AI was nearly at the kitchen, and then stepped out and looked down both sides of the hallway.

"Good morning," she said with a cool politeness that belied her nerves. It could have been her practice at hiding her feelings, or it could have been the lack of coffee, but GLaDOS didn't catch it.

"Not until I've had my coffee, it isn't," GLaDOS muttered darkly. "Breakfast had _better_ be soon."

Chell had to remind herself to breathe as she walked down to the dining room, followed by GLaDOS. _Act natural,_ she thought, and nearly started laughing. She only had to keep the AI distracted until Wheatley could get back upstairs. That wasn't so hard.

To her relief, he arrived a few minutes later, looking slightly out-of-breath. "Sorry I'm late," he said, sitting next to her.

"You usually are," GLaDOS said drily.

Intelligence came in with breakfast and began to serve them. His hair was sticking up slightly and his normally unshakable look had been replaced by one of mild alarm.

"Where's the Coffee Core?" demanded GLaDOS. "_Where is my coffee?"_

Intelligence blinked at her and shrugged. "Who can say? Gone. What do I know? I know recipes." He started reciting the recipe for the pancakes he'd made for breakfast.

That wasn't good enough for GLaDOS. She got to her feet and grabbed his tie as if to strangle him with it. "_I—want—my-coffee,"_ she growled.

Intelligence tilted his head, slipping his hand between his neck and his tie to prevent her from choking him if she tried. "Add two cups water, cold," he said.

GLaDOS glowered at him, then released his tie. "I'm going to find that airhead," she snarled, and spun to march towards the door, hands clenched into fists and shoulders raised in silent fury. Chell stared after her, then turned to Intelligence, rubbing his throat thoughtfully, and then to Wheatley, who looked terrified.

"Is she going to be safe?" Chell asked.

"For a while," Wheatley said. "But we'd better get this mess fixed quickly, or there's going to be trouble."

"I'm going after her," said Morality, and jumped up to run out of the dining room.

"No, you aren't!" Anger shouted, and kicked over his chair to chase her.

Wheatley buried his face in his hands. "Bloody hell. This is all my fault. I was the one who convinced her to try coffee in the first place. Goes to show what I'm good for."

"That doesn't matter now," Chell said. "We have to make sure She doesn't kill Coffee, because in this mood, she might."

Morality caught up to GLaDOS as she was storming past the elevator down from the break room. Anger was right on her heels as usual, seething about having to run all over the place. She ignored him and focused on the AI. "GLaDOS," she said quietly, falling into step behind her. "Don't you think it's a little harsh to hunt her down for one offense?"

GLaDOS glared at her. "No, I think you should go away and let me murder her. But, of course, you can't let it go that easily. No, you're too insistent for that. You irritating, insufferable excuse for a core."

Morality closed her eyes and took a breath, trying to keep her composure. She didn't appreciate being called irritating or insufferable, but that, she supposed, was what you got for trying to hold onto any values of _right_ or _wrong_ in this facility, where it was apparently alright to let people die "in the name of science" just because you felt like it, or to turn people into vegetables in any sense of the word, or to run everyone through pointless exercises just to see what they would do.

Well, she had better keep trying, at any rate. If she could at least calm GLaDOS down a little bit, she could gain the others some time to fix the machine before things really got out of hand.

Wheatley stepped into the kitchen to see that Intelligence had the water boiler halfway dismantled and was examining the pieces left, trying to figure out what was wrong. "Hello!" he said nervously. "Just, ah, wanted to tell you that you should probably hurry. Just a bit. GLaDOS is in an awfully nasty temper, and it's only getting worse."

He and Chell had been watching the security feed on the screen in the break room to see what was going on. GLaDOS had already searched the whole of the living quarters and, last he'd seen, was marching back towards the mainframe chamber to go down to the storage areas. If she kept going this way, she was sure to find Coffee, as well as the defects who were hiding down there, out of sight of the security cameras.

"Remove and let cool for thirty minutes," Intelligence said, sounding tense. "Add three cups water. Stir well. Beat well. Cook for forty-five minutes or until lightly browned. Let cool. Let cool."

Wheatley shook his head. "You're crazy, mate," he said, and returned to the break room.

"How's it coming?" Chell asked. Her eyes were fixed on the screen; he glanced at it and saw that GLaDOS was in the first storage area, tearing viciously through each storeroom. If she kept this up, it wouldn't be long.

"He-ello," said a turret, peeking out from behind a wall. He must be in there to make sure no one unauthorized messed with or took anything from the room. Now he looked curious, wondering why they were down there. "Can I help you?" he asked politely.

"_No,"_ GLaDOS snapped. She grabbed the turret by the shoulders, lifted him off the ground, and threw him angrily into a couple of boxes.

"Whyyy?" cried the turret as GLaDOS stormed deeper into the storage room. "I did everything you asked..."

"That's horrible!" Morality said, her voice rising about an octave as she grew more alarmed. "Are you okay?" she asked the turret.

GLaDOS ignored her and kicked more boxes out of the way. It did nothing to help her headache or her temper; in fact, it made her foot hurt as well, which was worse.

"GLaDOS!" Morality was saying, outraged. "Will you _please_ listen to reason?"

"No!" she snapped, glaring at Morality. "I have a headache, I am in a terrible mood, and _I want my coffee!"_

With that, she stormed past the cores and into the corridor again, to search the next room for the missing Coffee Core.

Chell stared at the screen in disbelief as GLaDOS threw the turret into the crates. "She's gone insane," she said softly. "She has completely lost her mind."

Wheatley said nothing, but he looked more than a little alarmed. After a moment, he shook his head and said flatly, "It's hopeless. She's gone on a rampage. We'll never stop her now."

She jumped up and hurried into the kitchen. "Hurry!" she said, pleading with Intelligence, who was staring intently into the workings of the instant water boiler.

"Bake at three hundred fifty degrees for an hour!" he said desperately. "One cup sugar! Heat on low, stirring constantly!"

Something occurred to her, and she turned to look around the kitchen. The pristine white-and-silver over gleamed on the corner, topped with a glass stove.

"Intelligence," she said, exasperated, "there's a _stove_ in here!"

He looked up, staring at her in bewilderment. "Of course."

"Why on _Earth_ don't you boil the water on the _stove_ like any _normal_ person?" she shouted.

His eyes widened. "Boil twelve cups water," he said, nodding.

"Try more like two cups," Chell sighed. "We just need enough for GLaDOS to get her caffeine kick, and then we can worry about making more."

Intelligence jumped up and scrambled to get a pot and put the water on. Chell ran back to the break room. "Wheatley! I need you to go get Coffee right away!"

He nodded and sprinted towards the lobby, where the elevator would go all the way down to the bottom of the facility and farther.

"Intelligence!" Chell called, looking into the kitchen. "How fast can you have a cup of coffee made?"

"The Aperture Science Speedy Coffee Injector can prepare your coffee in less than thirty seconds!" he shouted, running his fingers through his wild hair.

"Okay, I'll guess about five minutes to boil the water. That should be enough time for them to get back," she said, and ran to the lobby to wait for the elevator.

It didn't take five minutes, but it was awfully close. "She was going down to Storage Area 2," Wheatley said as he stumbled into her. "That's what took so long, sorry."

"Get to the kitchen," she said to Coffee. "Intelligence is boiling the water."

"Oooh, did he fix it?"

"No—he's boiling it the normal way—just go, I'm getting GLaDOS-" She stepped into the elevator and sent it down to Storage Area 2.

"GLaDOS!" she shouted as she stepped out to see the AI farther down the hallway. "We have your coffee!"

GLaDOS turned to see her, looking suspicious. "Do you really."

"Yes—come on, or it'll get cold!"

The AI narrowed her eyes but came back down the hallway to the elevator. They ascended to the top level and she led the way to the kitchen, storming in only to have the coffee cup thrust into her hands by the harried and frightened Coffee Core. She drank half of it at once and paused, eyes closed, face tense. A long moment passed before she let out her breath and opened her eyes, no longer looking quite so angry.

"I expect nothing of this sort to happen _ever_ again," she said in a dangerous sort of voice, smiling with a chilly sort of sweetness.

The whole room relaxed at once, relieved that it had worked. GLaDOS drank the rest of her coffee and rubbed her eyes, slowly going back to her normal self, who might be dangerous, deadly, irritable, and sarcastic, but _usually_ wouldn't rip anyone's head off just for asking if she needed help. Or throw them into walls, anyways.

"Well," GLaDOS said a moment later, and turned to Chell. "I suppose you'd better get to testing, _hm?"_

Chell sighed and rolled her eyes, but there was amusement on her face. "Alright," she agreed. "After I've had breakfast. I'm not testing before I eat _again."_

**A/N: Long chapter is long! XDD Hope you enjoyed this non-fluffy silliness about coffee. I like Morality in this chapter a lot. And Intelligence! He gets screen time! :D Anyways, hopefully it was good and whatnot. More silliness in the interlude I'll post a little later. :)**


	11. Let Them Eat Cake!

Interlude: Let Them Eat Cake!

Something had been baking in the kitchen all day. Chell had smelled it every time she came up for a break, but it wasn't until after dinner than she found out what it was. Intelligence cleared up quickly, by himself, and set the table again before anyone had a chance to leave. Coffee scurried off to the kitchen with him, and they returned a moment later with dessert: cups of hot coffee for everyone and an _enormous_ black forest cake.

"Ooh, this looks _delicious," _Chell said, laughing a little. Intelligence served her a slice of cake, and Coffee set down a steaming mug in front of her. "Thanks," she said, and tasted the coffee; it was dark, but sweet and rich with cream. Perfect for drinking with black forest cake.

"Excellent," said Wheatley beside her as he got his slice of cake. "Ah, wait," he added to Coffee. "I don't really like-"

"It's tea," she said, setting it down. "Morning tea with cream and sugar. Is that okay?"

"Ah, lovely," he said, and took a sip of it. "_Mmm."_

Everyone started on their cake and coffee, talking and laughing as they ate. Every few minutes, someone else poked in their head and took a slice of the huge cake before scurrying away again: a few turrets, a Companion Cube, and even a defective turret, at which GLaDOS glared but didn't stop.

"You know, he's been wanting to make this cake for years," the AI commented casually. "He knows the recipe by heart."

Intelligence took a bite of cake, looking thoughtful. "Three-slash-four cup vegetable oil," he said.

Wheatley grabbed another slice of cake. "This is really, _really_ good," he told Intelligence, excited. Intelligence smiled slightly.

Chell took a second slice of cake a few minutes later, just as Wheatley was getting yet another slice. "How many piece of cake have you _had?"_ she asked, laughing.

"Um," he said, frowning. "Four? This one's four, yeah."

GLaDOS gave him a look. "I think that's enough cake. You're going to make yourself sick, moron."

"I'm not a moron," he said, and shoved half a slice of cake into his mouth.

"Suit yourself," GLaDOS said, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her coffee.

A face peeked around the door, and a turret came in nervously. She was a little smaller than most turrets, and though she wasn't the only female turret—Chell had met several in tests—she had a more feminine haircut than most. Chell thought she must be the self-proclaimed "different" turret.

"Come on in and have some cake!" she called. The small turret crept towards the table shyly, eyes focused on GLaDOS, who was talking to Intelligence about some idea for a new device. Chell leaned over and cut a slice of cake for the turret, which she put on her own plate. "Here," she said, handing it over. "Go ahead and take it."

"Thank you!" piped the turret, and suddenly GLaDOS turned. "What are _you_ doing here?" she demanded. "Get out, or I'll send you to Redemption!"

The poor different turret scrambled. Chell watched her go until the door closed behind her, wondering where she hid during the day, out of sight somewhere below them.

Next to her, Wheatley was about to take a bit of cake when he stopped and, slowly, set his fork down and put his other hand over his mouth.

"I don't...feel so good," he mumbled, and swallowed.

"I have no sympathy for you," GLaDOS said. "In fact, I have so little sympathy that it's not even apathy anymore." She turned away, sipping her coffee. "I _did_ warn you, after all."

Wheatley moaned, clutching his stomach. He looked very pale. "I'll—ah-be back in a minute," he managed as he got to his feet and fairly sprinted out of the dining room.

"Moron," said GLaDOS smugly, and finished her own slice of cake.

**Poor Wheatley, haha. Not that he didn't deserve it...xD I think everyone at Aperture Science is either too stubborn for their own good, or not stubborn ENOUGH. **


	12. 7: Truth or Dare

Chapter Seven: Truth or Dare

"We should play a game," Wheatley announced to the table at large as they were finishing dinner one evening.

Everyone looked at him a little skeptically. If he'd come up with it, then something was sure to go wrong.

"_I_ think that sounds like a great idea," said GLaDOS. Every head in the room turned to stare at her in disbelief. She looked back as if she had no idea why they were staring and spread her hands. "We could all use some time to relax, couldn't we?"

Wheatley was delighted. He'd come up with an idea even _She_ thought was good? It was mad! Unheard of! And that wasn't to mention the looks of surprise and confusion on everyone's faces. Priceless.

Of course, he had to admit it was a little suspicious that She'd actually _agreed_ with him. Normally she just rejected anything he suggested simply on the basis that he was a moron (which he wasn't) and couldn't come up with any decent ideas (which he could). So the fact that she had gone along with the suggestion couldn't mean anything good.

"She's plotting something," Chell muttered to him, hands clenched into fists on the table.

"What is it?" he whispered as they started to clean up.

Chell shook her head. "I don't know," she said. "But you can see on her face that she's got a plan."

Once dinner had been cleared up, everyone headed for the break room, where they all sat on the floor. It seemed like everyone wanted to play a game; even a few turrets were there, as well as a companion cube and, of all things, the _Rocket Sentry._

"What game are we gonna play?" asked Curiosity eagerly. "Is it a fun game? Is everyone playing? There's a lot of people!"

"There's a game played by..._ordinary_ humans...which I find to be very interesting, scientifically speaking. It's called...Truth or Dare."

Chell covered a laugh with her hand. "It's a kid's game," she whispered to Wheatley. "It's pretty silly, actually. You answer a question, or do a dare, and if you don't, you get a penalty."

"I'll start," GLaDOS said cheerfully. She was almost more frightening when she was in such an unusually good mood than when she was in her ordinary cool, sarcastic temperament. "Oh, wait, we need a penalty! How about...if you lie, or refuse the dare, you get dropped in the incinerator!"

"That's a little less silly," Chell said softly, looking more serious. Wheatley nodded, feeling like this idea was going to turn out badly for everyone involved, _except_ probably GLaDOS. And, most likely, _especially_ for him.

To his relief, GLaDOS turned to Morality instead of him. "Truth or Dare?" the AI asked sweetly.

"Truth," said Morality quickly.

"Why do you assume everything fun is immoral?"

Morality sighed. "I make no such assumption. That wouldn't be fair. It just happens to be the case with most things _you_ would call 'fun.'"

GLaDOS looked a little sulky. Morality sat back, disapproving.

"What's got into you?" asked Chell. "It's just an innocent game."

"It seems innocent," she said severely, "but I know better, and I suspect you do as well. She would never have agreed to...to Wheatley's idea if she didn't have some larger goal, and I doubt very much that _her_ purpose is innocent in any way."

But as the game went one, neither Chell nor Wheatley had any idea what the plan could be. GLaDOS went through two more turns without giving any indication that she meant to do _anything_ suspicious.

Chell was yawning by the fourth turn, and the second time Wheatley shook her awake, she announced, "Alright, I'm going to bed. Goodnight, everyone."

"Night, luv," Wheatley said, waving at her. She smiled and stepped into the elevator to go to her room. The game continued without her, and as far as Wheatley could tell there was still no hint of suspicious plans.

Until, of course, GLaDOS had her next turn.

She turned to him with a falsely sweet smile and a wicked glint in her eyes, and he knew he was in trouble. "Truth or dare?" she asked him, and her smile broadened to show her white teeth.

No one had been crazy enough to take a dare from her, and with good reason—any dare she gave was sure to be dangerous or impossible or both. But he had the nasty feeling he knew what she would ask if he said truth. This might be a silly kid's game, but here, it was deadly serious; she would know if he lied to her, and he'd be incinerated, but he couldn't answer the question he suspected she was thinking of. If he told the truth, she would have the power in her hands to ruin his life, and it just might destroy him.

"Dare," he said, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

Everyone stared at him. Morality, who was sitting next to him now that Chell had gone, covered her mouth with one hand. Across the circle, GLaDOS grinned, her eyes gleaming.

"Come over here and I'll tell you what it is," she said, getting to her feet. Reluctantly, he stood and crossed the circle. GLaDOS stretched up on his toes to put her face right next to his and whispered the dare into his ear.

He stared at her as his heart sank quickly into his stomach. "Why the hell d'you want me to do that?" he asked, his voice rising slightly. "What kind of a dare is that?"

"Because as annoying as your _idiocy_ is, it can be pretty entertaining to watch you flounder around helplessly like a fish out of water," she said. "A _really_ stupid fish."

For a moment he was frozen, unable to think of _any_ course of action, let alone n even moderately intelligent one. Finally he managed, in a small voice, to ask, "Can I...can I have some cake?"

If it were possible for her smile to grow any more evil, it did. "If you do it right, you can have all the cake you want," she said.

"Fine," he sighed, and walked towards the elevator. "I'll do it."

Of course, that meant nothing. He would have done it, cake or no cake, and not_ just_ because he didn't have a choice.

Chell was almost asleep when he slipped quietly into her room, but she stirred slightly and opened one eye. "Wheatley...?" she mumbled sleepily, confused.

"Yeah, it's me, luv," he whispered, sitting on the floor beside her bed to look at her face to face.

"What's going on?" she asked, starting to sit up.

"Ah, nothing," he said. "I just—I'm sorry about this-"

With no further introduction, knowing very well that GLaDOS was watching, he took her face in his hands and kissed her.

If he hadn't been so nervous, it would have been wonderful. Her soft lips parted slightly in surprise as their faces met, and he felt her tense up slightly, heard her take a sharp breath. It was funny, he thought vaguely, how detached he felt. Here he was, actually doing what he'd wanted to do since she'd come back, and with a real excuse and everything, but he was so frightened of her potential reactions that he couldn't enjoy it.

Which, when he thought about it, was a terrible way to feel about the situation, because he _shouldn't_ be enjoying this—he shouldn't even be thinking about what he was doing, because he was only doing this at all because if he didn't, he would be _incinerated._ If that threat wasn't hanging over him, he certainly wouldn't have even considered doing it.

That, of course, was a total lie on his part, but one he wanted to pretend was true.

It was only a second before he pulled away and saw the stunned expression on her face. Her hands twitched, signing something haltingly out in the air, but he didn't know sign language, and she seemed to have lost the use of her vocal cords at the moment.

"Sorry," he said again, trying to save what was left of his dignity. "It was, ah, it was a dare. GLaDOS dared me to. Sorry."

She blinked, unmoving, and her hands moved vaguely again, forming the same shapes repeatedly, but not in order. "I..." she managed, but couldn't say anymore.

"I was promised cake?" he guessed hopefully. She just continued to stare and make uncertain signs. "I guess I'll be going," he said after a moment, and fled her room.

She stared after him, unable to think. Her hands fell limply to her sides, still twitching as she tried to make her mouth work. A long moment passed in which she did nothing at all.

At last, she found her voice. "He was promised cake," she said flatly, still staring at the door. The implications of that registered slowly in the back of her mind, and somewhere in her chest, a spark flared up into anger. "He was promised _cake?"_ she repeated, and got to her feet, suddenly awake. Just a dare, that was one thing. But being bribed with _cake_ was another story, and she was not going to stand for that.

Furious, she stormed out of her room and down the hall to the elevator. Voices carried down the shaft, but they were nearly drowned by the rush of her pulse in her ears. The elevator climbed slowly, too slowly, and a part of her wanted to smash her way out of it and climb up the shaft, because it might not be faster but she would be _moving,_ not just standing here.

The doors opened and she stepped out. Every eye in the room was on her and she didn't care; the only person who interested her in the slightest was Wheatley, who was cowering away as if he knew what was coming.

"Hello," he said nervously when she stopped in front of him.

She grabbed the lapels of his coat and pulled him to his feet. "You were promised _cake?"_ she demanded. "Are you _kidding_ me?"

He swallowed, raising both hands in the air. "Ah, well, is there something the matter with cake?"

Without thinking, without even really knowing she was going to do it, she slapped him across the face as hard as she could. He yelped in pain and staggered back a few steps.

"What did I do?" he asked weakly, but she had already stormed off, back to the elevator. The doors closed, and she was gone.

Wheatley wasn't sure which was worse: her violent reaction, or not knowing what had caused it. Miserable, he slunk off to the lobby, where it was dark and quiet and no one was staring at him when they thought he wouldn't notice.

The door opened a moment later, and Fact came in to lean on the back of the chair, examining his fingers. "There is a ninety-nine point three three three three percent chance that Chell hates you now," he commented after a moment.

"Really?" Wheatley said sarcastically. "You mean there's two-thirds percent of a chance that she _doesn't_ hate me? Because that's incredible. Unbelievable, actually."

Fact ignored him, or seemed to, at any rate. "There is a sixty-three point two five percent chance that she will hate you...forever."

He sighed and slumped down farther in the chair. "Yeah, thanks for that, mate. Definitely needed to hear that."

"Fact: You screwed up."

He sat up so that he could glare at Fact. "You know what? Shut up. Just—stop talking, alright? Yeah, I screwed up. I've got it. Can we drop it now?"

Fact turned his nose up in the air and stepped into the elevator to go downstairs to bed, leaving Wheatley alone in the darkness of the lobby, even more dejected than he had been when he'd come in.

Chell returned to her room and pulled off her pajamas to change back into her clothes. She should never have come back here. She should have just stayed away the first time. Why had she come back in the first place? There was nothing for her here. She tried to remember, but she couldn't recall what had really brought her back.

The door opened and Curiosity looked around the frame. "Can I come in?" she asked in a small voice.

Chell shrugged and started pulling things out of her dresser, throwing everything she'd brought here onto the floor around her.

Curiosity came in and sat on the edge of the bed. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Are you packing? Why are you doing that? You're not leaving, are you?"

Chell nodded and dug out her backpack.

"Why are you leaving?" Curiosity asked, distressed. "Are you allowed to do that? Won't GLaDOS be upset?"

"I'm not staying here for _her_ benefit," Chell said shortly.

"Then whose benefit are you staying for?" Curiosity asked.

She paused, halfway through the act of putting a pair of jeans into the backpack. "My own," she said at last, and returned to the task at hand.

"Why are you angry?" Curiosity asked. "Why did you hit Wheatley? What did he do?"

"Didn't you see it on the screen?" Chell asked, laughing harshly. "Didn't GLaDOS show you the camera feed?"

Curiosity nodded. "But—all he did was kiss you. Why is that so bad?"

There was a moment of silence before Chell sighed and hung her head. "It wasn't because he kissed me I'm angry," she said, feeling defeated. "It's the reason he did it."

Curiosity frowned sweetly, confused. "Why was that?"

Chell only shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it," she said, and pulled the zipper on her backpack shut. Curiosity watched with huge eyes as she swung the backpack over her shoulder and turned to leave.

"Chell?" she said suddenly as Chell reached the door.

She paused and looked back over her shoulder.

Curiosity looked worried. "Are you leaving forever?" she asked in a voice barely above a whisper, her amber eyes bright with tears.

"I don't know," Chell sighed. "I just—I need some time to cool off. To think."

With that, she left and stepped into the elevator going right to the surface, without stopping in the lobby to say goodbye to the others.

**A/N: Oooooh! DRAMADRAMADRAMA! :D And YES, I AM ending a chapter there, with Wheatley miserable and Chell angry and GLaDOS surely laughing to herself at how Wheatley manages to mess everything up. :)  
>Next chapter will in fact be a break from the drama and just have some random silly things happening. For the ones who aren't fans of the fluff, you'll be happy. For the ones who ARE and want to see all this drama resolved...sorry! XDD<strong>

**And with that, I am gone. DG out!**


	13. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**Author's Note: Updates**

So last night I discovered that the power cord for my netbook is now broken. This is a problem. In fact this is a REALLY BIG problem, because I have very limited access to the other computer in our house.

Basically, I can't get things written nearly as quickly as I would like. I'm still trying to at least handwrite from where I left off, but that means I have to type it all up later, making each chapter take probably twice as long.

Well, maybe not twice as long. That depends how quickly writing the chapter goes. xD Once I have everything written at least I don't have to think anymore, just put it into the computer.

Either way, it will take considerably longer to get anything posted. Updates are probably going to be significantly less frequent until I get a new power cord, which could be weeks from now. I just thought I ought to warn everyone who's been reading this story that it might be a while before my next update.

On a related note, I'd like to thank all of those readers. As of this morning, this story is my most popular one on the site, and it reached that status in less than two weeks. To put that in perspective, it took my previous most popular story a YEAR to reach the number of reads and reviews it finally got. So thank you so much to everyone who's read, faved, alert-ed, and reviewed in the past twelve days. You guys are just amazing. :D

This note will be modified/removed as the status of my power cable ownership changes. Wish me luck in getting a new one ASAP.

DG out.


End file.
